Quitting But Not Quitting

I am an Animal Jam youtuber and blogger. And as we all know, Animal Jam youtubers and bloggers always end up face to face with the rough and horrible subject of quitting.

Typical reasons include:

"I'm just not feeling it."

"There's too many scammers."

"I am bullied."

However, none of these are the case for me. Im feeling a complicated way right now. Its strange and new for someone like myself to have feelings like this. I can't quite find the right words to explain it, but I'll tell you a story in hope that it'll make this easier to grasp.

When I was little, I got my first diary. It was a cute little green one with a cloth cover, and my mom told me to always keep it. I loved that thing, but I never understood the point of writing in it.

"Mom, why do I have to write in it?" I asked.

"Well when youre older you'll be glad you did. You will be able to remember moments in your life." She replied.

As a young child, I began to worry that if I DIDNT write everything down in the diary, I wouldn't remember any of it as an adult. I thought that adults without childhood diaries couldn't remember anything.

I wrote down everything from what I wore to how many times I blinked in an hour. I was obsessive with the diary. My mom didn't understand how bad it had gotten, she thought I was just a cute kid journaling my day. To me it was a job that needed to be done. It was work.

I began to lose interest in the diary over a couple of years. That scared me to death, because I HAD to write everything down! It became a forced task. I made myself do it. 

Eventually I broke down and told my mom how I felt. I cried for hours, days, weeks. My mom told me this:

"I didn't mean you had to write all the time, sweetie. I just thought it would be fun for you. You've always had writing talent and a diary is a good way to use it. If you don't want to write in a diary then what is the point? Its supposed to bring joy, and make that joy last until you're very old! Stop writing if it brings you stress."

I still wasnt comforted.

"But mom, I'll forget as an adult!" I said in despair with tears streaming down my face.

"You will never forget the best moments in life. No matter what. A diary is only for the pleasure of remembering, and if you are happier without it, leave it behind." She said.

The reason I've told you this story is for one reason and one reason only..

Animal Jam is my diary.

I used to enjoy it so so so much, and it brought me the same incredible bliss I had felt when I opened that cloth green cover of the diary and my pen hit the paper. But then it became forced. In all honesty, I have only been logging on for a few minutes a week lately. And I only log on because, well... I want to appear active. It just....I just... cant.

I'm so sorry, but I can't make myself do this anymore. Animal Jam is making me more depressed than happy.

But fear not, friends, I will tell you this: I am not quitting for real. I am making myself a little schedule (as suggested by my mom) to meet up a couple times a week and talk with you guys.

So basically I'm not quitting, just becoming really inactive.

I love you guys so so much and I would have been gone years ago without you. Thanks for staying in my life, and keeping animal jam in my life. Its made me so much stronger, so much kinder, and taught me great lessons.
Thank you.

If its only stressful, then whats even the point? My header says,"lifes too short to be anything but happy."
And I stand by that.

My mother once told me as I said before, "if you are happier without it, leave it behind."


I may leave behind a game,
but I refuse to leave behind the memories,
And all of you beautiful people behind the screens.

Much love to you ^^

 Comment the days and times (pacific time) that you are most active so that I can start working on that schedule!

Remember, I'm not gone yet! (:

I refuse to leave behind the color charity without accomplishing our goal of making a huge change, so don't worry.

I don't plan on leaving for good for a long time. And there's always a chance I'll change my mind and play everyday!

Find me elsewhere:
Chicken smoothie - 2fangwolf
Transformice - wowidc
Email - 2fangwolf@gmail.com
Beast keeper - Faang
Evocality community forums - Fang
Mozzarella cheese forums - Fang
Minecraft PC - RailwayRain ( find me on servers like MCmagic, Lichcraft, and MCE servers )

Email me for my dA because I feel awkward publicly posting it.


Bye, shine on!